Inside the Mind of a Killer
by twixxx
Summary: I hate him because he makes me think about him all the time. I hate him because I miss him every single day. I hate him because even until now, after all the pain that he's put me through, I am still undeniably and completely in love with him.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I will say this only once. I do not own anything involving Twilight. It's characters, places, etc.**** Credits to Stephenie Meyer for that!**

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**Inside the Mind of a Killer**

**Prologue**

_Edward Cullen._

It's been fifteen minutes and I'm still in a state of disbelief. Well, it wasn't really that quite shocking to hear that he's really, really famous now. I even heard he is sexiest male celebrity in FHM's special December issue. I mean, come on. He is Edward Cullen after all. The walking sex god. So yeah, it wasn't as if it was something new that there were numerous rumors circling around the neighborhood involving Edward Cullen and the female specimen. He was the most eligible bachelor of the season, and women line up to watch all of his movies and try to get him in bed of course. One thing's for sure though, a lot of women all over the world have dreams at night involving sex and Edward Cullen.

However, what surprised me today was that Edward Cullen's current girlfriend, Victoria Weidenbach was being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest, and she stated that she is pregnant. Live. On TV.

"Turn that off!" Alice boomed as she entered the door to my apartment. "Don't listen to whatever she says. It isn't true."

Alice of course new everything concerning Edward Cullen. She was his favorite sister, not that they had any other female in the family. There was Emmett, but seeing how big Emmett was, you'd never doubt that he was a girl.

"I just got off the phone with Edward. They broke up a month ago and obviously she still hasn't gotten over it."

Well of course. That figures. I have known Vicky for a span of time. She used to be so clingy and possessive when it comes to Edward.

Bitch.

I sighed. It has been a year. It hasn't been a great year, but I did manage to live and I will continue on living it with or without Edward Cullen.

He had made his decision a year ago.

He chose her.

Who was I to complain? I was after all, only his best friend.

I hate Edward Cullen. I hate him because he makes me think about him all the time. I hate him because I miss him every single day. I hate him because even until now, after all the pain and the hurt that he's put me through, I am still undeniably and completely in love with him.

...and I hate it.

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**Author's Notes: What do you think? Should I continue? Please review. :)**


	2. Memories

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Credits to Stephenie Meyer for that!**

**Author's Notes: **I bet you all are probably wondering why of all the titles I could have come up with, I settled with this one. Well, I got it from a title of a song I just heard on the radio, and I think it pretty much suits the story perfectly. Here's the lyrics to the song.

_My mind can't take it, so what am I to do  
When you find out the alcohol can't numb the pain like it used to?  
I replay the scenes of endless dreams that once was yours and mine  
When'd you find out  
When'd you find out  
You didn't love me anymore?  
My heart can't take it 'cause you keep breaking it  
I let my guard down for you, just give me one more try  
Give me one more try. Give me one more chance to make things right  
How can I beg and convince your love to stay with me  
I'm at a loss when all you wanna say is goodbye  
I should've known better. You don't have to try anymore  
I'll find better comfort in the arms of another  
My heart can't take it 'cause you keep on breaking  
How could you do the things you do?  
I'm so sorry for the mistakes that I've made  
I've only changed for the better  
How could you do the things you do?  
I'm so sorry that I hurt you. Yes I've hurt you  
You've made this heart break  
So say it if you mean it  
If you don't, don't say it  
If you don't, say nothing at all  
Made this heart break  
So say it if you mean it  
If you don't, don't say it  
I let my guards down for you_

**Enjoy!**

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**Inside the Mind of A Killer**

**Chapter One: _Memories_**

_**One year ago.**_

I heaved a sigh of relief as I exited the Cullen's private jet. I was never really a big fan of airplanes. Just thinking about traveling makes me feel anxious and nauseated. I prefer driving, even though it would take a longer time to arrive. I was silent through the rest of the ride in Edward's car. We were going home, finally. Running around in Miami, Florida was not what I had in mind while I was thinking about the trip on the flight going there. But, unfortunately, much to my dismay, it was what I did. I was Edward's personal assistant (upon his request of course, since I was the only one he ever trusted), so I guess that was part of my job description as his best friend. I was running around because there were a lot of things to do backstage; everything was fast-paced, that's why everybody was supposed to be in full speed to get around things, and being slow was a weakness, a major no no. What were we doing in Miami you ask? Well, Edward was just given VIP tickets by Adriana Lima for the Victoria's Secret Fashion show since they wanted him to do an intermission number. Everybody knows Edward's good in playing the piano. Aside from acting, the piano is also his forte. Since Edward was being the Edward that he is, he nodded right away without even thinking twice… or even blinking for that matter. He had once said it was an opportunity of a lifetime. It wasn't as if it was everyday that beautiful models flashed you their underwear. I rolled my eyes and looked at him from the corner of my eye.

"How did you find the trip, Bells?" he asked, breaking the ice.

"It was okay I guess." I lied.

Of course it wasn't okay. I got exhausted and dizzy from all the running around. The production assistant thought I was a runner for the show. So she asked me to do a lot of things before I could even tell her I was with Edward. Edward of course was busy talking with the models backstage, so he probably didn't notice. I didn't tell Edward that though. It wasn't necessary, and I had a bit fun I guess. Plus, since practically everyone there were in their underwear, I know he really wanted to watch that show. It's a typical Edward Cullen reaction.

Edward and I were friends like since forever. Renee and Esme were best of friends since high school and Charlie and Carlisle were part of the football team in the college that they were all attending. They met and eventually, they fell in love. Carlisle proposed to Esme right away after graduation and of course, she said yes. They were blessed with a baby boy nine months later and they named him Emmett. One year later, Alice was born, and then another year later, out came Edward. Simultaneously, three years after Carlisle and Esme's wedding, Charlie proposed to Renee, and she married him. Soon after the wedding, Renee and Esme decided to become pregnant within the year… and so I was born. You could probably get the gist of the whole story right now. Edward and I were the closest probably because of our age gap. We practically did everything together since we were still wearing diapers and pooped in our pants. We walked and talked together; we went to school together; we grew up together. Edward is my best friend ever since we were born. It's like we were joined at the hip or something. He never fails to make me smile. He is one of the people I run to when I have problems because he is always there for me. He has seen me at my worst, yet he still stayed with me.

Back in third grade, the class bully, Bruno, decided to make a fool out of me once again since I was her, yes yes she was a girl (but she didn't really look like one, and she was really, really big), favorite person to bully by sticking her foot out to trip me. It worked. I fell on the floor, my face flat on the ground. That's not even the worst part of it yet—my loose tooth fell off. Because I was deathly horrified of blood, I shrieked in panic when I saw my bloody tooth. Being the crybaby that I was, I cried. Edward helped me stand up, but then I realized that I had involuntarily peed in my shorts! It was terrible, everybody there was laughing at me. Edward had saved me then, since he was Mr. Popular since the day he was born I imagine, and he told everybody that it was normal and that he also had moments like that and of course everyone had believed him then. Bruno just shrugged it off and walked away to look for another victim. Till this day, I still believe that Bruno kinda likes Edward, or maybe she was in love with him, because she looked at him different then, but whatever. Edward sometimes brings that incident up just to tease me and I always tease him back by saying Bruno had a very huge crush on him, and that they were destined to be together. That would make him shut up right away. But anyway, because of Edward, I wasn't made the laughing stock that year... and the years after that. I have known him all of my life. I can read him like an open book now. I can even read his mind sometimes. It scares the hell out of me.

I noticed that Edward had already parked his car in the garage of our house in Los Angeles. I stepped out, and went inside the house. Alice, Emmett, Edward and I bought this house together 5 years ago, when we first moved here to attend college. Emmett and Alice had already moved out ever since he met Rosalie and she met Jasper leaving the house all to ourselves, which isn't that bad at all because I have the room to myself without Alice prying on what clothes I'll wear. Edward was also kind-of relieved because Emmett snored really loud during the night, and now he also has the room all by him self.

I scanned the fridge for something to eat. I was shocked to find it empty, but then I realized that we were in Miami for a week; and we haven't done much grocery shopping in the last week.

"No food?" he asked, as he walked behind me quietly, his breath tickling my neck. I jumped up, startled. He chuckled. "Let's order pizza then?"

"As you wish, my King. I'm starving." I curtsied as I turned to face him and he laughed. He dialed the pizza delivery and ordered two boxes. Since both of us were pizzaholics, finishing the two boxes wouldn't be a problem. I was starving anyway so I didn't complain.

Two and a half hours later, we finished eating and we were talking all about his plans for his next big movie, when the doorbell rang. I stood up to answer it.

"Edward!" shrieked Lauren, she immediately flung herself unto him, while of course pushing me out of her way. I rolled my eyes. This wasn't the first time that I encountered this kind of scenario. Edward has always been known to the girls. In short, he was a chick magnet, a playboy, whatever you wanna call it. The girls swoon over him as if he was god. Well, they were right, he is the god! "How was Miami? I heard it was amazing!" she added, flipping her hair as she said it.

Lauren is Edward's current girl _friend_. No, I mean it. I know it wasn't a serious relationship. She was just one of the girls he likes to play with now. Since there were so many girls in Edward's life, I lost track of how many girl _friends_ he already had. None of them lasted long enough. The longest so far was a girl named Victoria Weidenbach, their relationship lasted for almost 6 months. It didn't work out in the end. She eventually migrated to Paris to pursue her modeling career there leaving him behind. She had said, "My career is the most important thing to me right now" and had apologized to him and Edward was heartbroken for a couple of weeks. He had thought she was "the one". He guessed he wasn't the type to be in a serious relationship as what they say. But, knowing him, I know he just hasn't found the right girl for him yet.

Even with his busy schedule and all the girls he was going out with, he still made it a point to spend time with me, I was the most important person in his life because I was the only one he ever truly trusted. I smiled at the thought and my heart sank when I turned to look at them after putting all the empty pizza boxes in the trash bin. Lauren was kissing him passionately on the couch now, and I had to look away. I don't know, but I find it really uncomfortable watching Edward lip-locking with another girl. Ever since third grade, I already had a huge crush on him. It's like that incident made me open up my eyes to a new Edward. And now I know that it wasn't just a crush anymore. He was one of the few people that I cared about the most, and seeing him with someone else just kills me. I know it shouldn't bother me that much, but it did. _How I wish it was me he was kissing. _I shook my head at the thought. _No Bella, he is your best friend. He probably might not feel the same way about you and you'd just end up ruining your friendship, you wouldn't want that. _I exhaled the breath that I didn't know I was holding. I looked at Edward and Lauren again and decided to go to my room to give them some privacy.

I climbed the flight of stairs that led to my room with a heavy heart. It was always like this. Every time he brought a girl to the house, my heart always seems to shatter into pieces. Because I was in love with Edward, but he could never know that. I just have to pretend every single day that nothing is wrong, just to avoid spurring any awkward situations. I'm afraid that he might run away if he knew the truth. So, it's just either I should tell him and risk the lifelong friendship or not tell him and live with the heartache. I wonder if there's a signed tape in my back saying "Edward Cullen, please break my heart."

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**Author's Notes: PLEASE REVIEW? :)**


	3. Deja Vu

**Inside the Mind of a Killer**

_**Chapter Two: Deja Vu**_

I almost threw the alarm clock when it buzzed me awake the next morning. I opened an eye to check what time it was. 8 AM. Oh my god. Edward is so going to be late! I hurriedly went to the bathroom to take a shower, and opened my wardrobe and looked for something decent to wear. Alice had this knack of spending a lot of money for my clothes, and she had almost replaced everything I used to put in this closet. I laughed silently as I put on a vintage floral belted dress. I matched it with a low cut black gladiator heels and put on my silver bangles. Aro Gold, Edward's manager, was strict when it comes to office clothes. He made sure we were always fashionable, meaning, we wear the nicest wardrobe, because we were after all part of Edward's team. We are one of those who gets published into tabloids and magazines, and gets interviewed in showbiz central, because everybody loves Edward, and the only way to get to know him better is through ambushing the people he works with (e.g. me). So according to Aro, appearance is always important in this business. He was gay after all, and I'm pretty sure it was just an outlet for his frustration to become a fashion designer.

After a few minutes of attempting to fix my hair, I decided to just let my natural curls down and combed my bangs to the side. I grabbed my black patent bag I had brought in Miami (because I was too lazy to transfer my things into another bag) and ran towards Edward's bedroom. When I was already in front of his door, I took a deep breath and prepared to knock. No one answered so I guess it was safe to go in. When I opened the door to peek inside, I was relieved to find out that Edward was alone. Lauren hadn't spent the night in Edward's bed like she usually does, which was odd. But I shrugged off the thought and walked toward his bed.

"Wake up, sleepyhead." I said, as I nudged his elbow. He didn't move. "Edward, if you don't wake up in ten minutes, I swear I'm going to be harsher than this." Nope, he didn't have any reaction at all. He was sound asleep. If I didn't know better, I'd say he looked dead to me. However, I laughed at my silliness when I saw his chest rise and fall as he breathed. I sat on the edge of his bed, and began poking him everywhere I could. That always seemed to annoy the hell out of him. He groaned, and covered his face with a pillow. "Edward, you have a meeting with Aro in an hour, you really have to get ready now…" I picked up his pillow which was already on the floor and brought it to his bed. "Where is Lauren anyway?"

He stretched his arms and gave out a huge yawn. He sat up next to me, and rubbed the sleep off his eyes. "I dumped her last night." I snorted out loud, "She was really weird. She asked me to marry her, and then she said she already named all of our babies!" I laughed. "There were 10 of them."

"Let me guess, The first born is called Eddie right?"

He hit me with a pillow. He hated that nickname. "Ow. What was that for? Besides, if you're not getting up from your bed in 5 minutes mister, I'm driving." He scoffed, and I just raised my brow at him. "I'm serious."

"Of course you're not driving. I'm up now. What time is it?"

"8:30."

"And what time is my meeting?"

"9:30."

"Shit." He immediately stood up and ran to the bathroom to have a shower and change. He came out less than thirty minutes later wearing only his dark jeans while drying his hair with a towel.

"Well you were fast." I commented, quirking my eyebrows at him.

"I'm the Flash." He said, beaming at me. I laughed at his corniness and stood up.

"I'll wait for you downstairs. I'm driving if you're not there in ten minutes." I told him as I closed the door behind me. I could hear him complaining inside, and I stifled a laugh. He never really was a fan of my driving skills. It was the best way to make him hurry up though.

"Edward! Your last 10 seconds start now. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2..."

Right on cue, he emerged downstairs wearing a white shirt, and he was struggling with his black sport coat as he came down the stairs in fast paces. He looked stunning as always… and he smelled nice. I blushed when he caught me staring at him.

"I'm driving." He informed me with a smirk, put on his glasses, and he extended his hand towards me. "Shall we?" I reached for his hand and smiled at him.

"Of course."

We reached the building in less than twenty minutes. Thank God there wasn't any traffic. The elevator stopped on the 18th floor and we both stepped out from it. The girls on the floor turned to stare at us when we started walking. Most of them were waving like idiots at Edward, saying things such as "Good morning Edward" or "You look really handsome today, Edward." But he just ignored them and hurriedly went to the conference room for his meeting with Aro, Jane Fitzpatrick, his publicist and other people who were included in the team; I on the other hand, went over to my desk to double check Edward's schedule for the day. At 12 noon, he was supposed to have lunch with a James Cameron; James wanted Edward to star in his next blockbuster movie, so Edward _should _be there. If everything would go exactly as planned, then they will initiate the contract signing today as well. At 4pm, he was supposed to meet with Megan Fox for a press conference about their upcoming movie, _The Rebound Guy._ I crossed my fingers hoping all would turn out well. Well, I guess that's just it for today. Oh wait, there's still the premiere night tonight. I put down my organizer on my desk and sighed. Angela came in a few minutes later.

"Bella, here are the coffee and the donuts you always order everyday." She said, smiling at me, and putting the tray on my table. "Fresh from Starbucks."

"Mmm, they smell delicious. Thanks Ang. You're a lifesaver. I haven't eaten my breakfast yet."

"No problem. Just call me if you need anything," she offered as she went back to her desk to start working. I stood up and picked up the tray leaving my share behind, and headed towards the conference room to give Edward his portion. Only a few people were there. I saw Edward sitting at the far end of the table, tapping his pen on the table, and I walked towards him to give him his coffee and donut. But before I could reach him, I stepped on a wire that I didn't notice earlier and everything happened so fast. The next thing I knew, Edward caught me in his arms and the coffee and the donut went sprawling on the floor beside me. Aro Gold, I noticed, stopped talking. Everybody was staring at us now. I didn't move. I was afraid that if I did, my legs would betray me and make me look more stupid than I already was. I could feel the heat rushing towards my cheeks.

"I'm so s-ssorry!" I stammered, and Edward helped me stand up.

"Bella, whatever am I going to do with you?" he sighed, "Please be careful next time okay? It was a good thing I was here to catch you… you could've bumped your head on something hard and fall into a coma."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh don't be silly, Edward. I just tripped. Two left feet remember?"

"But really, Bella. Do be careful next time."

"Are you alright Ms. Isabella?" Aro asked me.

"I am alright, Aro. I'm sorry for the disturbance." I looked at everyone in the room, their eyes were still fixed at us, and another blush began to form. "I should probably go to find a mop to clean this mess up. I'm so sorry for spoiling your donut and coffee. You can have mine if you want."

"Just leave it there Bella. I'm sure the janitors would be very happy to have something to clean up... and no, don't worry about it. You eat your share, I'll just tell Angela to buy me another one." He gave me a reassuring smile and I nodded at him. I walked back to my desk and stared at the screen before me. Putting my hands on my face, I groaned. _Why was I such a klutz? _

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Edward got the leading role in James Cameron's next movie, and they started the contract signing also, which made Edward ecstatic of course. They were to begin filming on January, after New Year's. The press conference went beautifully as well. As usual, they had answered all the questions perfectly. Everybody was looking forward to watching their movie. It was showing on tomorrow and premiere night was tonight.

We headed down towards the supermarket and bought all the supplies we need. When we reached home, Edward helped me carry the bags as we put them in the kitchen counter. He also helped me place them on their respective places. After cleaning up the kitchen, I joined Edward in the living room.

"Let's go out to celebrate tonight after the premiere. You're going with me right? I mean, to the premiere?"

"No. You know I hate these things Edward. I have to wear a dress, and those killer shoes."

"Please Bella, just this once."

"Why not ask Megan to be your partner?"

"Because she's already bringing someone else. Bella, please? I swear this is the last one."

I rolled my eyes. Of course I knew it wasn't the last one. He said that the last time. "Fine. But this has got to be the last one Edward."

He hugged me in excitement, and I muttered, "I swear if you weren't my best friend..."

"Call Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. Tell them to meet us in Eclipse after the premiere. My treat!" he told me, and my face lit up. I was never the party-all-night kind of girl, but since Edward was the one who sent out the invitations, then what the hell? I could finally spend time with him outside of work since I really hadn't gone somewhere with him without work involved in such a long time. I flipped my phone open and dialed Alice's number.

"Bella?" she answered.

"Edward wants us guys to hang out tonight. His treat. Call Rosalie and Emmett, tell them to come too."

"What's the occasion?"

"Oh, you know…" I began, making her anticipate what I was going to say next. Edward snickered beside me. "just to celebrate because Edward," I inhaled slowly to make her more anxious.

"Damn it Bella, what ??"

I smiled triumphantly. I still know how to annoy her. She was never a patient person. "Got the leading role in James Cameron's next film."

I could hear her screaming on the other line, "Oh my god! That's wonderful news! See you at the premiere then? Wear something sexy!" she squealed and I could tell she was giggling.

"Sure." I said as she hung up. Sexy? I scoffed. As if she placed something not sexy in that cabinet of mine. "Really Edward, that sister of yours sure knows how to make me tick."

"Why? What did she say?"

"It's more of what she did. I just found out this morning that she actually replaced all of the clothes in my closet!" I sighed, and he laughed.

"Bella, I'm sure it's not that bad."

"You should see what kind of clothes she replaced them with!" I stared at him in horror, and he just laughed even more. I gave up. Blood is thicker than water after all. Of course he is on Alice's side. Just then, my phone beeped. "We should get dressed. Aro just sent me a text message. We're supposed to meet them in an hour."

I took a quick shower and looked for something to wear. I just picked out a random outfit. I wouldn't be able to find anything if I didn't do it randomly. There were just so many clothes and shoes and bags to choose from. I made a mental note to pay Alice for these. I looked at the dress I was holding and it turned out to be a royal blue, one shoulder sleeve dress with a sweetheart neckline. I tried it on, and looked at the full length mirror inside the closet. It was really short; probably ten inches above my knees, but it was really beautiful so I decided to wear it even though I'd probably regret it later on. I even wore heels for crying out loud. I picked up a clutch that matched the color of my shoes and put my necessary items inside such as my phone, a lip gloss, a brush, a pack of facial tissues, and my wallet. Of course I let my hair down. I didn't have time to go to the salon and get it done. I noticed that it was longer now, since it almost reached my waist. I tied a blue ribbon to my hair, and put light make up on. I put on a blue beaded necklace and then walked out of the closet only to find Edward was sitting at the edge of my bed. He looked up when he heard the door open.

"Wow Bells. You look amazing." I was stunned by his comment, and I blushed a deep shade of red. "The dress suits you."

"Why thank you." I managed to squeak after I regained my composure, "You look dazzling yourself." He gave me a sheepish grin, and I thought I would've melted right then and there. He was wearing a black suit with a white button down shirt underneath it, a dotted gray tie, and his black leather shoes. I helped him straighten his tie. It wasn't properly done.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"Very."

We met with Aro an hour later. He rented a limo for us. He told Edward about all the things he needs to do, we were supposed to go out in less than 30 minutes. I noticed there were already a lot of people waiting for the celebrities to arrive. Photographers were already lining up to take pictures. He was supposed to meet up with Megan Fox inside and I, well I will look for Alice. She informed me they were going to be here. Edward said he would just meet up with us later on.

Sara, Edward's make up artist and stylist retouched my make up. TEdward grabbed my hand as the door was opened and we both came out of the car. Everybody was screaming and cheering. Photos were being taken here and there. At the same time, Megan Fox and her partner also came out from their limo and we all went inside together. Many of the other Hollywood stars were also there and they took turns in congratulating Megan and Edward for the success of the movie. I met up with Alice and the rest of the gang inside.

"Bella! I'm impressed." Alice commented as she patted the seat next to her, signaling me to sit down. I kissed both Alice and Rosalie on the cheek. "And Edward, my, you look dashing, as always. Congratulations by the way."

"Why thank you very much Alice." He replied.

"Bro! Congratulations. I knew you had it in you! Dad and mom would be so proud!" Emmett exclaimed while tousling Edward's already messy hair. _But he still looks hot despite all the disarray. _I shook my head again. _Enough with the obsession already!_

The rest of the evening passed by quickly, there were a lot of positive reviews from the critics, which made Edward very happy. And then it was time for the after party.

We arrived at the club forty five minutes later and Edward went straight to the bar. He returned to our table 10 minutes later with 2 bottles of Jose Cuervo in his hands.

Rosalie quirked her brows. "We're going to finish all of that?"

Edward, Jasper and Emmett grinned widely. "Of course."

After finishing off the bottles a few hours later; all of us were in shape to dance. I mean, all of them except me. Alice tugged on my hands. "Bella, come on. It will be fun."

"Alice," I told her, I was really getting very dizzy. I think the alcohol was getting to me. "You know I can't dance."

"Just try." She said as she pouted. "It's easy. All you have to do is follow the music."

"Alice," I said again, "You go ahead; I'll just stay here and watch."

"Bella, don't be such a kill joy." Rosalie informed me. "If you won't dance then we will also not dance, right Edward?"

"Bella, why won't you dance?" Edward asked me when Rosalie told him I wouldn't stand up from the chair I was sitting.

"Because Edward, you know very well I have no such talent." I folded my arms in front of my chest. "Besides, there's no one here to watch over our things. I'll stay here to guard them."

"Bella…" he pleaded as he tugged on my arm. "Just dance this once, for me please?"

I could practically hear my heart beating right now. I know I turned tomato red the minute he said the words, and I was glad it was dark in here. I just couldn't resist his persuasiveness. "O-okay."

"Yey!" Alice threw her arms in the air like she was a little kid and hurled me towards the dance floor. The beat of the music was fast. And Alice and Rosalie started dancing right away. I blinked a couple of times first before it actually registered in my brain that I was supposed to dance. Maybe the alcohol really got into my head and killed all of my brain cells.

I started dancing with the music until I matched the rhythm. I tried to mimic Alice's and Rosalie's actions earlier with the hip swaying. The guys joined us a few minutes later. Edward was right behind me. He was holding my waist, the two of us now dancing together. "Bella.." he called.

I tipped my head back towards him, "Hmmm?" was all I could say. We continued our dance. I laughed as he pulled off a funny stunt, and I returned the favor. He was laughing now too. I was enjoying this too much.

"God you smell so good.." he murmured in my neck as he breathed in the scent of my hair. Did he just say..? Did he just kiss my neck? Or was I just hallucinating? Oh god, the alcohol must've hit me really hard. Why did I drink so much anyway? I ignored his last statement, telling myself over and over that I had just been dreaming. I was firing up a bit, probably one of the alcohol's side effects and I began to dance more efficiently. I swayed my hips a little bit further and Edward matched my every move. I danced like there was no tomorrow. Edward didn't seem to mind. A few minutes later, I was tired from all of the moving, and I needed a break.

"I'll go to the restroom for a while, I need to breathe." I told Edward and he nodded apprehensively. I walked towards the girls restroom and breathed heavily. God, the alcohol is really wearing me out. I was imagining things. Did Edward really kiss my neck? If he did, does that mean that…? I felt a wonderful feeling starting to overwhelm me, then it died down immediately. No. He's just drunk. He had taken many shots of the tequila as well, as many as mine I bet. So he might've not remembered he did that, or maybe he even did that unconsciously, without thinking. I decided to look at myself in the mirror. I was hideous. I took the tissue inside my clutch and wiped the sweat off my face. I made a quick retouch and decided to hit the dance floor once again. I went out and noticed that Edward was not in the dance floor anymore. I went over to Alice and Jasper who were cuddling by the bar.

"Alice? Have you seen Edward?"

"Yea, he was just there awhile ago." She pointed at the corner of the dance floor where Edward and I danced a couple of minutes earlier. "I don't know where he is now though. Sorry."

"It's okay, I'll go look for him then."

"I'll go with you." She said as she kissed Jasper lightly on the lips before jumping from her seat.

Alice is my best girl friend. I tell her things that I don't tell Edward, like being in love with him for example. Of course, I couldn't tell him that. It would ruin what I've been working on for years. I decided some years ago that I would stick with this friendship no matter what. I wouldn't do anything to destroy it, even though it pains me to see him with other girls. Even though I know he would never look at me that way, as long as Edward and I would remain best of friends forever… that is enough for me. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie know of this affection for Edward as well, and they have been very supportive. Although I made them promise never to tell Edward, and they have scolded me numerous times saying that I should tell him my feelings already before it's too late. Emmett had told me that boys are sometimes stupid, they don't see what's standing right in front of them until someone knocks their head off. I told them I will tell Edward when the time is right, and they respected my decision.

I continued looking for Edward and huddled to a stop when I saw him. He was in the corner of the club. His arms against the wall, his lip locked with a certain redhead. I'm sure I knew her from somewhere. When I caught a glimpse of her face again that's when realization dawned on me. _Victoria__._

Alice noticed my stiffness. "Bella…" she tried to soothe me.

"Don't worry Alice, I'll be fine." I lied, but she looked at me with sorrowful eyes and I know she didn't believe me. "I'm used to this anyway. I'll always be just his best friend." I tried to fight the tears but I couldn't hold on to them any longer. The sight was too painful to bear. Victoria. She was his first love. I ran towards the exit, with Alice right behind me.

"Bella!" she cried out.

"I just need some air, Alice. I'll be right back." I ran outside and I didn't look back.

I decided to finally go back inside 10 minutes later. I had thought, _Edward can do whatever he likes to do. Bella, don't act like a sick, pathetic, lovesick puppy. You should be happy for him. As long as he's happy, you're also happy right? Maybe not._

Everyone was there, they were all shooting me worried glances, but I ignored them and ordered another bottle of tequila.

"Bella!" Rosalie scolded me. Everybody has been scolding me a lot tonight. I must be demented.

"It's okay Rose, I can handle myself."

"Are you sure you're okay Bella?" asked Jasper.

I faked a smile. "Of course I am, Jazz. Why wouldn't I be?"

He just shrugged. When the tequila arrived, I grabbed my shot glass, "Bottoms up people!"

A bottle of tequila, and a couple of dances later, I was a little bit dysfunctional. I scolded myself for being so stupid and irresponsible. I should've just went home. Just then, Edward and Victoria decided to grace us with their presence and sat on our table. Emmett cleared his throat, Alice and Rose were shooting signals at each other, and Jasper just stared at me. It was like they were waiting for a boxing match to happen any minute now. But it seems that the couple was oblivious to what is happening around them since they were busy swallowing each other's throats out.

I told Alice I was going home. She had asked if I wanted her to drive me there, but I shook my head no. I said I wanted to be alone. She understood of course, and told me to give her a text when I reached home. So that's when I hailed a cab, jumped in and embraced myself to keep me warm from the coldness. I forgot to get my coat, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of there. I reached the house and I ran towards my room. I closed the door and sank on the floor, crying and gripping my knees for support. My phone rang a couple of times, I was quite certain it was Edward because he told me we'd go home together, but I didn't answer any of them. My heart has just been taped back to pieces, and now it's being ripped apart all over again.

And no, as much as I wanted to, the boxing match never happened that night.

**Author's Notes: **

Here are a few things I'd like to tell you:

1. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Sorry for the late update. Have been busy preparing for year 2010. I hope you had a great New Year! Wishing you all the best.

2. The reason I chose Megan Fox to be Edward Cullen's partner in a movie was this: I was thinking of a name of an actress, there were lots to choose from, I got confused... and then I turned on the TV and Transformers was on. HAHA. That's why. Sorry for my lack of creativity.

3. I would like to know names of actresses who you'd like to be paired up with Edward on his next movies. And you may also suggest movie titles, and of course, I'm also open for plot suggestions and everything. :)

4. To my wonderful reviewers **vampiregurl, Mercyrus** and **vampirestalker903**, thank you for the lovely reviews! I love you already.

5. Pictures of what they're wearing are in my profile. Go ahead and look at them. I'm really not that good in describing outfits in details. Sorry.

**Okay, so here's the deal guys: 5 reviews **= update anytime this week. **10 reviews**= update tomorrow. **20 reviews** = update now. Hahaha. Please review. :)


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